Call-In Classic Christianity Radio – Bob George P556 (07-24-20)
Synopsis
Listen as people call in for answers to the practical issues in life, a struggling marriage, a divorce, how to get close to God, or tough decisions when you know you are dying of cancer. It is so wise to listen. Everyone should be slow to speak and quick to listen. As you do, you gain insight into what a person is really struggling with and get a sense of the attitudes of their heart. At times, you do not know how to answer, and so biblical counseling is the best advice you can offer. But the one person who knows you better than anyone else is the Lord Jesus Christ. Many times, we contribute to our own problems. We do not inquire of the Lord. We are vulnerable to making mistakes because we have been through a previous bad marriage, and are lonely. So, at times we make dumb choices, and enter another difficult marriage. But in all these things, we do not live under the law but under grace. In Christ, there is always hope. That does not mean that a marriage will always be restored or that you will not experience sorrow, pain or sickness in this fallen world. One way or another, one day, you or your spouse will pass from this world to enter the next. But, you can have a peace that surpasses understanding. So, in all things give thanks, make your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Transcript
Ann from Kansas City, MO
Ann: I have been remarried. My girls were 9 and 13 or 13. I married this gentleman. I had come out of an abusive relationship and I was looking for stability. This older gentleman, unfortunately his wife died less than a year and he has not really gotten over it. His baggage and my baggage did not work out very well. After eleven years, something came up, one of my daughters had difficulty with finances, and he blew up and blew up. Everything blew up. We have both been depressed. I tried to leave it in God’s hand. For a year, we left it open and left some opportunity for counseling, to allow God to work. He still went ahead and went through with divorce. Counselor recommended that. I try not to fight it and cause problems or I would not get what I would have gotten. So anyway, what I am trying to say, now divorce is over, I am trying to figure it out. I tried to leave it into God’s hands. But we were both very unhappy. I would have worked it out if God led us that way. If I had ever been allowed to consider remarriage. If not, then I should not even date. It seems lonely being by myself even though my younger daughter lives with me. She is 22. My girls are older and doing their own thing. I am thinking if I am supposed to be single the rest of my life. I thought so. Biblically, am I allowed to even consider a marital relationship again?
Bob: And weren’t you married before this marriage?
Ann: Yes, I have been married before.
Bob: So, you have already been divorced and remarried. So that kind of question makes no sense.
Ann: But that was a different situation. The way I understood in the bible, he ran around on me and was abusive. So he was continually unfaithful and abusive, I felt that the way the bible says, if they are unfaithful, then you have freedom to divorce. That is the way I understand it.
Bob: If you are looking at it on that basis, out of the gospels, instead of New Covenant teaching, it does not say you are free to remarry, you are free to divorce. It does not say to remarry. You cannot stay on that side of the covenant. You have to realize the New Covenant is ushered in, your sins, and that would be considered to be sin, that your sins are put on the back of God never to see them again. So, what you are dealing with right now, in the New Covenant, is in 1 Corinthians.
1 Corinthians 7:8
8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.
Bob: Who is unmarried? It is the one who has been married and is no longer married due to divorce and the widow is someone who is no longer married due to death. Now in verse 9, he is talking about the virgin.
1 Corinthians 7:9
9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Bob: Those are people who have never been remarried. So you have a virgin who has never been married. You have the unmarried who has now been divorced. And the widow who has been, and now has lost their mate through death.
Ann: I am not sure I am seeing it the same way. To me, unmarried means never being married.
Bob: Unmarried means that they have been married and are now divorced. Why would you say virgin. You could just say to the virgin and leave that other alone. So unmarried is the one who has been married and no longer married.
1 Corinthians 7:8
8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.
Bob: You learned that, that you can remarry and it is not going to be heavenly bliss. So, if you can stay unmarried, you are going to have a lot more time to serve the Lord. If you have been married before and have gone through a bad marriage, you might be better off single. But, if they cannot control themselves, as scripture says.
1 Corinthians 7:9
9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Bob: Paul understands, and certainly God, if you have enjoyed sexual relationships, and lost a mate through divorce or death, then there is the possibility to burn with passion. You burn for what you had. You do not say that to a virgin. You do not burn but yearn for what you never had. If you burn with passion then better off to remarry. That makes all the sense in the world. There is nothing spiritual about clawing wall paper off the wall. I do not think you can get married. Nothing spiritual about that. Then he gives instruction to the married and so forth. To your condition and where you are, it is better for you to stay unmarried, as Paul says. On the other hand, if you cannot control yourself, then better to marry than burn with passion. Those are your instructions.
Ann: Okay. Thank you so much.
Bob: Does that help?
Ann: Yes, I think so.
Bob: Well, it answers the question, “Can you get married?” If you are going to burn with passion, then get remarried. But the issue is, you are better off unmarried. Once you have gone through the experience of realizing that you cannot trust somebody, or somebody that you thought you could trust. You did not get married, thinking the man would be running around on you. You have experienced that. You experienced whatever you had with the second husband. That marriage is not what it is cracked up to be, especially if you do not have the right one. Again, you will always enter into marriage thinking this is for life and wonderful, but when you find out when get into relationship, the person you are with is not necessarily the person you dated.
Ann: That is for sure.
Bob: That is why you have to be cautious. My advice to you is to be very cautious. I tell you being lonely is the most dangerous place you will ever be in your life. Loneliness can create more dumb decisions than anything I know of. So be careful with that. Go out and find friends. Enjoy your singleness for a period of time. If God brings along somebody who is mature in the Lord, not a lot of baggage. That is what happened with you. You had baggage on both sides. That is always the case. I want you to take care of my children the same way you take care of your children. I want to love my children the same way you love mine. There is nobody who will love your children the way the original father of children loved them. That is just not going to occur. There are many things to consider. I pray you consider those things and just let God lead your life on that and bring a lot of joy in your life.
Ann: Thanks.
Bob: Okay, Ann. Bye bye.
Joseph from Indianapolis, IN
Joseph: I have been studying the history of the church, to try to strengthen my relationship with God and get a better perspective on the early church, what they believed, practiced and thought.
Bob: Well, that is a lot brother. Lots of luck.
Bob: When you study the early church, you are going to study the failures of man. I have seen people study early church and mold off of that. All you see in the early church is failures of man and sinfulness of man that ultimately turned into a control factor. You are not going to get close to God studying the early church. You are going to get close to God by studying the author of that, who is Christ.
Joseph: I understand that. When I think of the early church, I think about the time of Acts. The reason being, there are just some things that I see in today’s church that I do not see those things practiced in the early church. I think some of those rituals actually hurt the body of Christ more than they do good. So one of the things I was looking at is the 4th commandment where God calls us to keep the Sabbath holy. From the bible it says that the Sabbath is from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown.
Bob: The Sabbath has been replaced by the Sabbath rest that we entered into. So you are still in the Old Covenant instead of going into the New Covenant. That went into effect at the death of Christ Jesus, and we are told about that.
Hebrews 4:9-10
9 There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; 10 for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his.
Colossians 2:16-17
16 Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. 17 These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.
Bob: So the Sabbath day is not a reality. It is a foreshadowing of the rest that God wants us to enter in every day of the week. That is where we are resting from our works just as he did from his. What does that mean? There is nothing we can do to add to Him. He completed it. He said it is finished.
John 19:30
30 When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
2 Peter 1:3
3 According as his divine power has given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that has called us to glory and virtue
Bob: We have been given everything we need for life and godliness. So rest in that truth and walk in the newness of life.
Romans 6:4
4 Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.
Romans 6:14
14 For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.
Bob: You are no longer under the law that kills, but walk under the grace of God that gives life and sustains our life. You are not under the ten commandments. You are supposed to be free from that so you worship in a new way of the Spirit and not of the old way of the law.
Romans 7:6
6 But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.
Joseph: Okay. Then, I guess the question I have then is this. When the bible says we are to follow the commandments of Jesus, what is he referring to?
John 13:34
34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
Bob: To love one another. It goes on and explains that in further verses.
Romans 13:10
10 Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
Bob: Love is the fulfillment of the entire law and of the prophets. Love is the fulfillment of the law.
Joseph: Okay.
Bob: That is why it says if you do not have love, you do not have anything.
1 John 3:14
14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death.
Bob: The law cannot produce love. It is only the grace of God that produces love. And it is not that we loved God but that He loves us first.
1 John 4:19
19 We love because he first loved us.
Bob: Until we bask in the love of God, which is ours through Christ Jesus, to become like Paul, that I am convinced of that.
Romans 8:38-39
38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Bob: Now I am prepared to respond to that love. I cannot initiate that love. I have to respond to that. That is the fulfillment of the law. The law is fulfilled in us, who do not walk after the flesh but after the Spirit. Christ fulfilled the law and the law is now fulfilled in us.
Galatians 5:16
16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
Joseph: Okay. Thank you very much.
Bob: Does that help Joseph?
Joseph: Yes, that helps a lot.
Bob: God bless you, Joseph.
Joseph: You too.
Bob: You call any time. Bye. Bye.
Hans from Eugene, OR
Hans: I am a long time listener and supporter.
Bob: I recognize the name, brother.
Hans: I just had a brain tumor removed. It was the same cancer I had twice before. My doctor says I am living on borrowed time. No, I think it is the Lord who is still wanting me to do something and He has not told me what yet. In the meantime, I am going through this new cancer treatment. It is an immune enhancer so your white blood cells recognize cancer and start attacking it. It is a very new therapy. It is also $3500 / month. I am retired. So, my question is, and I am feeling a little awkward about it. I am praying to the Lord, “Lord, if there is any way that you can help me figure out how I get the money so I can stay alive? I would like very much to know that”. Is that a legitimate reason to ask the Lord?
Bob: Hans, it is just different for everybody. Everybody has different attitudes on that. My attitude on that is this.
Philippians 1:21
21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
Bob: I do not want to be there one day longer than the Lord wants me here. If the Lord wants me here, then I do not need that help, if that is His desire. I have a time to be born and we have a time to die. I do not think I am going to speed that up or prolong it. There is a time we came into this earth and a time that we leave it. I am personally not anxious to speed it up or delay it. That is why I think our prayers, in regard to that is, “Lord, if you want me here, if you got a mission for me to do, then leave me here and take care of the details. If not, then I am ready to come home and get out of this garbage heap we are living down here, with all the rejection, trials, tribulations, wars and rumors of wars, and everything else we hang onto, instead of looking forward to the day we will go to see Him face to face and become like Him.
1 John 3:2
2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.
Bob: I personally, and I have been through this. I have been laughing with one of my friends in California, who was discovered with cancer, where they have to pump water and blood out of their lungs. He does not have much long to live. He has terminal cancer. We were talking about the situation about how we face that. For he is facing it the same way. As far as he is concerned, I would rather be with the Lord. We hate to leave loved ones here, but in due time, they will be with us. I think that is a way you approach those things, Hans. If that is provided, fine. If it isn’t, then fine. So many times with medications, there are terrific side effects to them that I would rather have quality of life than quantity.
Hans: This is new, an enhancer. It is not chemotherapy. I get tired. I was resigned to that. I read my bible in that regard. I recall scripture.
2 Corinthians 5:8
8 We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord..
Hans: I am worried about my wife. Before I had this cancer we bought a farm. She alone cannot handle it. Her income is not big enough.
Bob: Hans, again, what people do with that type of thing, is leave it in the Lord’s, Hans.
Hans: But I worry about her.
Bob: If you can trust Him with your life, you can sure trust her in His hands as well.
Bob: Those things have ways of being taken care of, Hans. I realize that. We all say we worry about a mate. I realize my mate will get along fine. She knows the Lord Jesus Christ and she walks with Him and talks to Him. If I died today, she is going to be okay. I just do not allow myself to meditate on those things.
Hans: I do not want to miss too many People to People programs, though.
Bob: Listen, you will be with a greater exposure up there. You will know what is truth when you get up there. I do not know, Hans, those things you just have to ask the Lord for wisdom, if it does not occur and you do not have dollars. Quite frankly, I would hate to bleed my resources. I saw my own mother and father. My dad left mom very well off when he died. My mom died really without a penny to her name. All of it was left to medical care. I look at that and say, “no way am I going to do that. No way”. I think you have to gauge those things and ask God for wisdom and He will give it to you.
James 1:5
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Hans: That is what I do not want to do either. So just a simple prayer should suffice?
Bob: You say to God, “God, I want your will and whatever your will is. I am willing to accept that. You know what my desire would be, but I do not want my prayers answered. I want your will for my life”.
Hans: Your will be done.
Bob: Absolutely. Okay, brother.
Hans: Thank you so much.
Bob: Keep in touch, Hans.
Dianna from Atlanta, GA
Dianna: I am so inspired and edified by a lot of things you say. I am having a problem in my marriage. I was married for 40 years prior to this one. I have just been recently married for two years. My husband has different beliefs. He is totally spiritual, but he has different beliefs when it comes to the sexual part of it. I might want to be sexually involved with him on an everyday basis per se. He wants to dominate and say, “Well, Saturday or Thursday”. It drives me to frustration. He says I compare my first marriage of 40 years with my marriage now. Right after we got married, I was ready to go with intimacy. I know this man loves me but it seems like my sexual part of it is tiring for him. We live together and then we realize that we cannot do this until we get married. So we wanted to do the right thing under God’s ordinance and so got married. But it seems once we got married everything going down hill.
Bob: Dianna, again, that is one of the problems with marriage, you have to cooperate with one another. When you are living together, you really do not. You certainly did not start off marriage in a biblical way. I do not know what happened to the first marriage, whether it ended in death or divorce. But, I guess it was death.
Dianna: It was divorce. Abusive relationship.
Bob: I do not know how long you waited after the divorce to start dating.
Dianna: I waited two years.
Bob: But, again, sometimes ..
Dianna: We lived together for two years.
Bob: It did not start off well. When something does not start off well, then sometimes it does not end too well either, Dianna. I do not know what to tell you on that, Dianna. If someone wants the days of the week that you are going to plan sexual activity, that is not only strange, it is really strange. Sex should be spontaneous in marriage. It should not be something you put on the calendar. So, I think that it is very strange thinking. But, I do not know how to tell you to deal with that type of thing. You should have probably followed your first advice and got annulled. But you did not do that, and now you are in the situation where you are married. I also do not know where the man stands in regards to his relationship with Christ. You say he is spiritual, but Buddha called himself spiritual and so do other people. Some people get so unbelievably holy that so heavenly minded that no earthly good. I do not know.
Bob: I have a red flag when I hear people talk about how holy somebody is. My wife has led about as pure a life as any woman I knew. I do not sit around thinking how holy she is because she does not act holy. If someone is acting holy, then they are doing just that, acting. I do not think anybody is that holy. I have red flags when people walk around acting like they just are so holy that they can hardly stand themselves, and are about ready to make their ascension into heaven. That is self righteousness and I do not think such people have relationship with the Lord because the emphasis is on them instead of Christ.
Dianna: Exactly.
Bob: So, I do not know what to say. I think there is a spiritual problem that is at the root of all of this. But, it certainly would not hurt if you could find good biblical counseling. I am not just talking about a Christian who counsels. If you could find good common sense biblical counseling that might help. It would certainly help. I do not know if he listens to the broadcast or not.
Dianna: He listens to you every day.
Bob: Well, if he has a problem and thinks he has a problem, I would have him call. Call Ed Hecht, who handles all our counseling, and try to get help in that manner. You would just call to get the arrangement to get on the phone with Ed to start communication and see where it goes.
Dianna: Okay. Thank you.
